Why I prefer dumbphones over smartphones?

Beware: It only gets more personal. Read only if you care.

This post has long been due. I am so sick of people's pathetic expressions the minute I remove a Nokia phone from my pocket. At first glance, they are in a state of disbelief. I see the beginnings of a changed perception of myself in that second when they raise an eyebrow.

At first, they're probably like: Is she abnormal? Or just a poor normal? Then they question me to get a clearer picture. I tell them that I am better off without a smartphone. Bla Bla. Then they nod their head as if they've believed me (but that's definitely a nod of complete disagreement).

And then they stare at me. It's almost like their eyes are telling me, 'Aww look at that poor thing. She is deprived of one of the greatest treasures of this generation.' But the only real thing I am deprived of is the opportunity to convince them why I may be happier than most of them without this 'treasure'.

A smartphone is like a well-brewed cup of coffee. It can be stimulating, relaxing, and engaging all at once. Both have an excellent ability to keep you under a mirage of self-greatness without revealing your deepest vulnerabilities.

You may instantly feel inspired to carry on with your tasks and chase your dream after scrolling through a ‘motivation post’ on Instagram. You might be moved from within and make bold assertions to make a difference after your news feed displays the latest achievement of your role model, similar to how coffee induces immediate energy boosts into your system.

A good dose of coffee can fill you with feelings of Euphoria. And so can a high score at the end of a two-hour temple run session. Reading random articles can give the sham impression of having garnered some knowledge, just as coffee makes you feel more powerful than your actual limits.

And then you have a realisation. Not so late, when you are free of the effects of coffee, your energy takes a big dip and you feel deprived of 'a thing'. You will be forced, almost as if by some invisible hand, to grab another cup of coffee so you can push yourself back to work.

You might view my analogy between coffee and smartphones as extremely weird and unmatched. After all, one is the product of a series of technological advancements, while the other is merely a beverage. So why do I club them together here?

It's not because of what they're capable of but more of the effect that the two produce. I am talking about their well-known addictive and satisfaction-spurring nature.

Smartphones are meant to connect us more widely, right? And sure, they've done that for me. But was it needed? I don't think so.

I lived in a country for 16 years of my life. Then, on my 16th birthday, I found myself in another country—supposedly my homeland—and I settled there with my family.

My homeland. Strange. I felt anything but at home here. Of course I had to connect with people that have been more like homies to me.

A dumb phone, meaning one without social media services, would only give me the chance to contact or message my close friends once in a while. But having easy and frequent access to a single platform, say Facebook, where I could have a larger group of old connections would enable me to be in touch more often (and also ensure that I was not easily forgotten?).

So, I bought a smart phone and created my first social media account at the age of 16. I carried my smartphone everywhere to avoid the catastrophe of ‘losing touch' with old friends.

But I didn’t know what this ‘being in touch’ was going to be like. Over time, it was less about personal texts and genuine concerns about the well-being of others and more about convincing them that you have a perfect life. I tried my best to prove that I was among the ‘cool ones’ at high school. Whatever that meant. (silently cringing at the former self)

Soon, I got engaged in a constant display of my (God-given) beauty and random events (both actual and made up) to tell all my ‘connections’ that I was doing well and that I was more than happy in this new life of mine. Almost anyone would believe that I’ve not only adapted to this new environment, but that I was indeed having a better time here.

And who would ever know the reality? I had a decent number of followers and despite that, I could never share the amount of anxiety I was facing with a single of them. I could not confess how socially misfit I felt at least once a day at college. Forget that. I did not even admit that to myself!

It's one thing when people look at your life through social media. And it's another when you began pacifying yourself that everything is great as long as your profile looks great! I was so fixated on the notification bar of my phone hoping that a single like from some random acquaintance, whom I briefly met years ago, would convince me that I am still admired and looked up to.

Gone was that girl whose worries were her preparation for upcoming exams. Now my worries began to depend on the perception others held of me.

Back then, I sure lacked the wisdom or perspective to even consider this attitude as harmful , leave alone reflecting on it. But once it dawned upon me, I realized that deeply rooted in these acts was a reflection of my social insecurities. I somewhere believed that a social media presence could overcome the lack of real and genuine connections in my life at that point.

OF course social media is only a single aspect of what I consider a harmful component of using a smartphone. There's much more than that. Unwanted news, games, mindless web browsing etc are things that have affected my cognitive abilities as well.

But this explains a lot about the influence it can have on the psychology and wellbeing of a person.

And despite the fact that most applications can be uninstalled, they're something so tempting about them that I always found myself re installing the latest version in less than few days. So I decided to disable myself completely from even the possibility of being bombarded by anxiety inducing notifications.

Now, I have the freedom to choose when I want to visit and keep up with other's lives on social media which I only do using my laptop.

And it might seem silly at first. But its a lifestyle change for me that matters to much for my personal well being. It has changed me in ways that I could only imagine before. I feel more real. More myself.

One may argue the difficulties that may arise from such absolute abstinence in a world that relies on smartphones more than anything else. I, however, believe that the good outweighs the bad and at least for now, I doubt if anyone could convince me otherwise!