The Uncharted Within

For as long as I can remember, much of my early 20s has been spent ruminating over the unfortunate events of the past and dwelling on the possibilities of the future. My time was not my time. It belonged to the self-loathing diaries of yesterday, even as the clock ticked towards the future. Every act carried the weight of yesterday's sorrow. Each initiative was blurred with repeated doubts of failure. In a world filled with unpredictable full stops and untimely demises, fate presented me with a new day, day after day. And I, in all my oblivion of God's manifold graces, poured it down in the hopelessness of yesteryears. The whys and whats of fated events reduced me to a passive passenger of my boat, ridden by a foreign sailor, who, unbeknownst to me, had already charted the shores and voyage of my life.

Now, as I stand at the helm of my thoughts, I look back at these years of voyage, feeling the silent ache of time wasted and the agency that slipped through my grasp. Though I have sailed through tempests and lost time, the captain of my soul knows the sea is vast, and beyond its waves lie lands untouched, waiting for a voyage yet to be made. But this time, the true captain takes the helm, guiding the ship toward horizons yet unseen!